The last 9 days have been a constant bender. I haven´t met my new friends (CJ and Ashley) sober yet. They seem pretty rad even when I´m not seeing double.

SO. I hooked up with team Ukulet from Van island in Barra Nexpa on our trip to Puerto Escondido. We hopped a few busses to Ziuha and decided to crash the night here to split the trip up. That´s when we met the Brazillians. It´s been a 5 day booze up sinse then.

These boys (www.destinocanela.com) are brothers and a friend spending 4 years sailing around the world. We got them righteously drunk in honor of Claudio´s birthday.  We started on the Destino Canela, had several drinks and shotguns, and hopped ashore. Ash tried to hop the fence into the Mexican naval base - which resulted in angry shouts and pointed machineguns, we went to a disco. Shut the place down and went to drop the boys off at the boat, when Claudio peed on a wall outside the tourista policia office. Which resulted in me having a gun swung in my direction while I waited for the other two boys to return and help me with their brother. Between the 4 of us all we had was 150 pesos, but it was enough to bribe them off.

After two more (three??) days of constant drinking, they´ve invited us to sail with them to Acapulco. Beats the hell out of the bus, so we´re goin´sailing along the coast of mexico for the next 24 hours. SWEET!

Yesterday we rescued our friendly dog who´s been hanging out with us for the last 4 days and being a totally cool dude by getting donations from tourists and brought him and $40 american ot the local shelter. They promised to take care of him, get him shots and feed him and find him a home.

This morning we saw him walking the streets and chillin out. We´re going to have to go raise some hell.

We spent two days trying to find some ruins in the desert, which was fruitless the first day. The second day we went to a small super friendly village where this old dude in his 80´s has been hand digging out artifacts for the last 30 years. He has uncovered some amazing stuff. His whole family lives there and is pretty poor, so after he showed us the goods ad tried to explain to us some details about what was going on (so wish we had a translator) we slipped him enough to buy a few chickens for the family.

There have been many other interesting tidbits and people, but I´ve got a boat to catch.

Next stop, Acapulco!!

Last night was interesting. To the point where I thought it might be prudent to leave Melaque a day earlier than I had planned.


After a fantastic evening of trying to buy supplies for camping and for Donyenes homecare, I walked her home. And used the banyo.

On the way back I ran into Mikey. Mikey is an alskan king crab fisherman. Mikey offered me some green, for which I graciously accepted. Then he offered to sell me some, inside his buddys house.

Now, Mikey is a shifty sort, but I didn't get too many bad vibes from him, so after a bit of a debate I went in.

That's when I met Ruben. Ruben is a big, barechested scary ass dude, covered in tatooes. I began to wonder about the safety of the situation. They proceded to feed me J after J of "good stuff" which, being from BC, I was pretty much immune to. Turns out Ruben used to run drugs for gangs in Vegas untill he got shot. The bullet scars on his ankles are something else.

The entire room was covered in beautiful, fantastic seashell artwork. Ruben got out of the drugs and into art, creation. Some of his pieces were really really good, I've got pictures of a few. I haltingly (as he speaks no english, and I no spanish) made a conversation with him without mikeys help about my dad and his scultpting and artwork. Then, he pulled out his surfboard and I knew I was cool. We started bullshitting about surfing and the longboarding that I've done. Told him about Sandy's head juice incident, he really liked that.

One of the things they do for fun (these boys are beyond poor) is get a goat, kill it, let it rot for two days, throw it into la lagoona for the big ass crocs, and then use the crocs as target practice. By the way. Bullets bounce off of crocodiles (or so I'm told).

Enbalmed on the table were a rattlesnake and a scorpion, forever intertwined. I thought it was a great analogy for Mikey and Rubens' friendship.

Then their nameless and scary friend came over with a little baggy, and the boys busted out some lightbulbs for smoking from. If you know what that means, you know it was time to get the hell outta dodge.

Bought a beauty thing (which shall remain nameless as it is a gift for my wife, I{d not tell her that much but it's part of the tale) forgot about the weed, and buggered out.

It was one hell of a night.

After the longest 4 hour bus ride ever (They LIE!!! Is 6.5 bathroom free hours!) I arrive in Melaque. Fortunatley, I sweat so much that my hampster bladder is foiled! I win!

Immediatley upon my arrival, I curse the luck, I forgot my headlamp at home, so attempted to purchase una lanterna lampera. Apparentley, my accent makes me a martian, because no one could understand. Ha! That´s the first thing I´ve had a problem with. Most of the time people understand what I´m asking, but I can´t understand their response.

Thank you so much Kat for the phrasebook, without which I would be screwed.

Met a young kid with dreads named marley. Bought some green from him, pretty safe bet. My punishment for said action; turns out he´s just discovered DMT and has stumbled upon a wave of self discovery. A very long and one sided conversation ensued. Good kid though.

Today I try to find a small nearby town called cvastecoma tes. I chatted up the local tour guide untill he told me of a good nearby spot to snorkel without having to book a guide. About a 3km walk from the campsite, but i might rent a bike. Or I might go nap.

Life is good.

Well first off, this whole thing is in spanish, and I have to pee too bad to try to figure it out, so if this isn´t going to post, too bad. Mustache stays on.


So, despite having missed my flight, (Turns out I was supposed to leave on the 5th, not the 6th), I have arrived. I got somewhat misplaced on the way to the hotel, but it turns out there are several hotels with the same name, so totally not my fault.

The streets here are mainly cobblestone, dotted with colourful store fronts and stalls. There is a plethora of new smells and sights. I was pretty intimidated at first by my complete lack of spanish, until I realised that most here take pity on my un-educated kind. Although, when one gentleman asked me ?Como est as¿ and I rèplied after a brief pause Bueno, he grinned and gave me the thumbs up saying "Êy, you´re getting it!!"

Most off the people seem friendly, but it truly is a land of stereotypes in this town. I have GOT to get away from the tourist centers. The drunk 24 year old americans are more than I care for. The peddelars on the beach are a bit much too. I´m planning on going to Oaxaca on the 8th. It´s a much bigger city, but if I can get an early flight, I´ll be able to link it with a vanbus to a smaller town 6 hours away in one go. Id like to spend as little time as possible in tourist ville and large cities.

So far, so good.

Do you reek of cheese, and if so why are your pants on fire?

Staff Christmas party.

The event will be attended by 30-50 people, and set at the Pioneer Theater in town. There is a stage, the place is set up acoustically as best as you can find around here. BC/DC (the cover band for ... welll...take a guess) played there.

So, I've got about 7 weeks to learn the songs on the set list, as follows. I have numerically labeled them from 1-5 where 1 is I am suxxor and 5 is Rockband world tour.

Intro / warmup - Rollin' and Tumblin'  (ancient blues riff)

Down Home Girl - Rolling Stones = 3
Middle of the Road - Pretenders (punked) = 3
Modern Times - Black Keys = 4
Astro Zombies - The Misfits = 3
Diamondhead - The Ventures = 4
Whisky and LuLu - 50 Men = 4

We've got several backups that we can play as an encore after we get totally trashed. 5-6 tracks would probably be best though, depends on how nervous I get. <grin>

Last night we had FOUR!!!! kidlets at the door!! A Dark Knight Batman, a cartoon series Batman and a Spider/man all at once, followed later by a monster of some sort.

Four kids might not sound like much, but it's four more than we've had in the last TWO YEARS!!!! More kids!!! More costumes!!!

As for tonight, my sister and bro-in-law are in town for our haloween party tonight, it's gonna rock. Pretty much the whole town is showing up.

My dragon slayer costume is kickass thanks to my lovely wif, it's totally rad.

Pictures to follow.

Yesterday was a good day, beautiful and sunny.

The McDonnells and I disrupted the pristine conditions with a pair of shotguns; a 60 year old mossberg and  pistol grip pump action defender.

Any day that I get to explode things is a good day.

This morning I am undergoing the natural consequences incurred when copious amount of alcohol are ingested. Typical reactions may include zombies of the brain, stomach, liver and bladder. Bladder zombies prefer to attack in the middle of the evening, a swift run to the nearest poo receptacle is the only method of staving them off. 

Stomach and liver zombies are much more difficult to eradicate. Expulsion of bodily fluids is the most common way to realize you or your loved ones may have been infected by a bender zombie. A concoction of grease and caffeene is the best method of curing yourself of the stomach zombies. There is no known cure on the north island for liver zombies, although I have heard rumors of voodoo dolls.

Brain zombies simply kill you dead, and eat your brains. I am convinced my wife is one of these zombies, I fear her and the noises she makes in the middle of the night greatly.

There's a Fender Jazz Bass sitting in my room. It's beautiful, all white and cherry coloured. The sound is a deep ball rattling growl that eminates from the dual pickups. I've got it on loan until I determine if I'm going to buy it for $350.
I've already got a good bass. I'm not entirley sure that it's worth it. But it's effin rad.


I wants it so bads!

Edit : Due to my $110 winnings from the poker game last night, and finding a likely buyer for my old bass, I 'm gonna buy the bass. Which is good, as it's totally badass.

I woke up this morning, groggy and tired as per the norm.  I got to work late, as it was the first frost of the season, and the windshield wipers / fluids don't work, so it took awhile to get the frost off.

I got to work, where my good friend and now operations / safety manager reamed me out over a safety inspection I gave a truck.  Apparently, when the front quarter panel is held straight with spacers, and the welding cracks in the roof over the door, it's not considered a "crack in the frame" and should be safe to drive. (Cuz I'm a car guy, and totally know the difference between a cracked frame, and a cracked....whatever the hell you call the part of the car you sit in that's over your head.)

So I go to work. I'm pressed for time, as there's a buttload to do, and I'm late. Get to the site. Get to the first plot and dislodge a 40lb slab of granite, 60cm x 40cm x 30cm from a height of 1m onto my spine, flattening me to the ground, knocking the wind out of my lungs and the hardhat off my head and thouroughly annaliating my bannana.

Or I thought I did....turns out I left my bananna and the rest of my lunch in the truck. At the bottom....of....the.....hill. <le sigh>

I worked the rest of the day, slowly. I got back to the office and had another meeting with my friend (safety manager remember?) which resulted in an hour of paperwork, and an hour and a half visit to the hospital. Soft tissue damage only, no broken spinal column (I DID work the whole day, I needed xrays for that info? BAH!)

I get home to my wife after a grueling 12 hour ordeal, to be informed lovinginly that ICBC - the monpolistic bastards that they are - has sesnt me a $300 fine because I got a speeding ticket for going 5km over the limit, and got points.

And George decided to make me feel better by retrieving me dinner. Woulda been a cute little songbird.....

Only about 2 more hours till blessed sleep destroys the day that is this

There is a foul creature here that bends the minds of men. It is a fell creature, full of spite and malice, and an unyielding hunger for carrion.
This is no beast of nightmare, nor a creature from the depths of the earth.

No friends, this creature is something we brought with us. Something that cannot abide a healthy sleep nor a quiet moment.

George speaks, and we wake. He commands us with his will, forces us into his power with the incessant whine. His power is immense, his meow is legion.

I was driving home from work today, and passed an old townsite that is now completely grown over. There was a car parked there, with a woman in her mid 40s sitting gazing into the alders. When I stopped and asked if she was ok, she got out of the car and approached.

She said she was coming home.
She said she loves it here.
She clapped her hands and bounced like Lauren when I told her the name of a friend of mine that grew up there.
She said she wants to be buried there.
She said she can't because the land is slowly sliding into the sea, so she wouldn't be there forever like she desires.
She said she loved us.

Then, as I excused ourselves, and began to drive away, she traipsed across the logging road and vanished into the green sea of bracken and alder.

She was so bubbly and full of energy. I'm mostly certain she wasn't on anything, just thrilled to be "home".  She gave me quite the smile. I just hope she doesn't get eaten by the black bear I saw a klio down the road!

Tonight was Ironman of the Caribbean at the theater in McNowhere. It  rocked!  Most of the seats were filled, and I got to see an actual movie in a REAL THEATER!!!!

I also didn't have to pay $50 for a large pop, $25 for a ticket, and $100 for new shoes (after the bathroom floor)

All in all a good night, now if I can just get some sleep before I go hunt and kill me some trees tomorrow, I'll be good.

Two beer?? TWO?

How can I be this hungover after only drinking 2 b...well....ok...THREE beer?

Unnnnnnghhh...brain has the zombies.

"AAAAUUUGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!! This is HORRIBLE!!!!"

Scape Goat fell to his knees clutching his wounded eye, bellowing a mighty howl.

I immediately did what any supervisor, first aid attendant and friend would do in this situation.

I nearly peed myself laughing.

I had been warned of the acidic powers of Balsam pitch when applied to the surface of a retina. No damage can truly be caused, but the pain is immense. I've only ever heard of one other person to manage to squirt themselves in the eye with pitch while chopping a tree. No, it was not me.

So once again, don't rub balsam pitch into your eyes!!! (On a side note however, the dried pitch pockets can be chewed and used as gum. Not tasty, but extremely long lasting!)

2 Countries
5 Cities
5 E.B.'s
3 Circuit Citys
2 FutureShops
1 London Drugs
1 Best Buy

One PuzzleQuest videogame. Thank you WalMart, Sheila and discount bins.

Today Goat Goat learned to climb.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/30453698@N04/2850039955/

Today I caught a glimpse of a memory while walking through the woods.

A slight flicker caught my eye and I stood transfixed for several minutes, mesmerized by the dancing of some tiny forest creature. Perhaps a moth, or wasp, or if I can recall the mysteries of the past, some tiny woods spirit, dancing in a ray of sunlight.

It wound itself into intricate patterns, moving gracefully and smooth, playing in the breeze.

In the end, a huckleberry leaf, discoloured and caught in a spiders tailing line is what held me entranced.

Or.....was it?

So my mother was managing a fruit stand this summer.  It was the first time she'd ever attempted anything to do with sales, management, or her own endeavor. She was terrified, but excited.

I've never seen her so happy.

Now, she's closed up shop, as a fruit stand is wont to do, and tallied her totals.  Turns out she owes the owner and supplier of the stand a few thousand dollars. I've never seen a person so terribly unlucky with money. I guess with the high gas prices and new highways in the interior there has been alot less traffic than normal in the area.

Mom's in her 50's. She's got no money, she's got no assets, she's got nothing in the bank, and no RSPs. She also has no job.

Due to her poor eyesight and recent heart attacks, she also has no chance of doing the one job that she's qualified for and loves, truck driving.

i've invited her to stay with us for awhile, and Sheila, being the awesome that she is, loves mom and the idea of her being here.

I just don't know if I'm ready for a long term live in mother again.